It Takes a Life

I really haven’t written in a while, but I thought I would take a crack at it since tonight was such a milestone moment in my life.

The pops and I had our first deep conversation tonight. I felt as if he had understood me for the first time, ever. We talked about the end of the world, momma, his relationship with his father… I even got to share with him about a difficult experience. It felt real good. What more, we were able to discuss our opinions on humility and how that leads to appreciation; we touched upon the topic of expectations - how we expect so much from those who are near to us in our hearts, and yet we give them less grace than those who are not as close (even though it should be the other way around). Yes, all of this was with my Korean papa. It really was just fantastic.

He isn’t perfect, but I admire that he can face that he isn’t perfect. I get reminded of how even my daddy needs the love of a perfect Father.

Only God is perfect and only He cares about me perfectly. When you see yourself through His eyes, you see a child of God who is deeply and perfectly loved.

And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him. - Hebrews 11:6.

It’s painstakingly difficult for me to do this. I look at myself through the eyes of other people, or sometimes even treat their opinions as being more important than His. It is true - I can be a people-pleaser. I forget that people are not perfect. They don’t have perfect judgment, and they - even my family - don’t always want what is best for me.

So tonight, I am ever so thankful that God entrusted me with a bit of courage to be firm in Him within myself. I did not waver with my father. I was very honest with him, and it ended up being a pleasant conversation. A small step along a very lengthy path. I am not perfect - sometimes I even feel as if I am terrible as this thing called ‘life’. I seriously make too many mistakes to count. My heart is a wretched mess and my actions definitely translate.

That makes me even more thankful for who He is. How can I express how I feel? With song, of course:

I will offer up my life in spirit and truth
Pouring out the oil of love as my worship to You
In surrender I must give my every part
Lord receive the sacrifice of a broken heart

Jesus, what can I give
What can I bring
To so faithful a friend
To so loving a king
Saviour, what can be said
What can be sung
As a praise of Your name
For the things You have done

Oh my words could not tell
Not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart

You deserve my every breath for You've paid the great cost
Giving up Your life to death, even death on a cross
You took all my shame away, there defeated my sin
Opened up the gates of Heaven, and have beckoned me in

My daddy. My Daddy upstairs. I am thankful.

“For the mountains may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”

says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

nahmyoung asked: hi love <3 cute tumblr name. let's hang out when i come home, please!

When are you coming, my dear! and when is the revival?